The power to hold your fart unless people are around you

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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the power to defecate while standing up...

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The power to kill yourself if there is a bullet in your heart, brain, and liver all at the same time

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The power to live,but only when you are dead

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The power to have an ejaculate in your pants by looking a girl in the eyes.

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The power to shoot webs, but only out of your ass

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the power to write on cellophane

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Justin Bieber

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the power to be good at something your already good at.

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The power to get extreme orgasms random, often in very awkward situations.

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The power to smash people's heads in with things.

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The power to see you're self in a mirror

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The ability to run super fast, but you don't have legs.

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The power to fly, but only 1 millimeter above the ground, while moving at a speed slower than a snail.

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The power to become the best player in every Moral Kombat game there is. Test your Morals... TSHHH, test your morals TSHHH MORAL KOMBAT! Mortal: FEAR THE WRATH OF MORAL KAHN!

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The power to quote Castlevania quotes all day... yelling them out on the streets! Moral: WHAT IS A MAN! People look at me and laugh... and moral man struts past... he has never been so awesome before... They see me rollin... they laughing... they lovin... and I hope nobody calls the ambulance because I am crazy... in love... I can see it in your eyes... I can see it in your smiiileeee...

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The ability to know who is calling without looking at caller ID

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The power to eat as many ice cubes as you want without getting a brain freeze.

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the power to write only the letter R

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The ability to shoot apples, but they disintegrate in mid-air. Also, the apples are tiny.

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The power not to dance while you're in a coma.

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The power to see when your eyes are not closed.

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To shit bricks.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!