the power to have good enough grammar to phrase the fu**ing power you want to share without sounding like a retarded deaf 6 year old

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the power to sleep through a prison rape

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The power to become CHUCK NORRIS! (if you are a teen) Which by activation you realize he is just a mediocre actor... and worst... over 70 years of age...

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The power to digest food wrappers, but only once youve opened them.

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The power to worsen your own eyesight at will.

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The power to shit brix, No wait.

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The power to levitate 0.000000000000001mm off the ground when going up stairs.

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The power to never get drunk

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The power to hate/love/care about me because of who I am. Moral: Relax dear friends (you other fools relax too) I was born this way, and I love every second of it, I am on fire and this workout gives me so damn much pheromones and testosterone that I am gonna invite a cute friend and have a damn threesome! Why, because its a mans world... never forget that kids...

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the power to inhale and exhale air

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Superhuman strength and endurance but only when sleeping

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The power to get hurt without a break.

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The power to revive Hitler.

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The power to jump over a sheep when you turn 10 years old

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The power to to excrete fluids from your body after digesting food or obtaining liquids

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the power to kill plants in a desert.

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The power to bake cakes precisely 2.7% faster than usual.

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The power to see through things like locked cabinets, wrapped birthday presents etc. But only if you know whats inside.

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The ability to avoid work when connected to the internet. Thanks, by the way.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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Every time you clap some one dies

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The power to write fast but only when your hungry

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The power to grow nipples all over your body at will

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The power to make every single person in the world hate you and want you dead.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!