Backpack with everything.. ..except the things needed in any given situation.

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the ability to invent cheese and toast

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The power to produce fingernails at will that people can eat.

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The power to summon Wolverine, but only so he can give you a colonoscopy.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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the most pointless super power is being able to create ugly chicks

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the power to get in the van

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The power to deep throat a giraffe!

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Astral Projection. Distance: .3mm

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The power to jump faster.

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the abilty to come back to life, but in a black hole.

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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to not blink for 5 seconds

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The ability to perpetually masturbate.

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The power to kill yourself.

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The abilty to jump 50m in the air without the abilty to survive long falls

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the power to read your own mind the power of 75% levitation the power of turning into a juicy pork chop in the presence of a lion the power to believe it is butter the power to turn into a blender once and never change back the power to cry acid the power of turning highly visable while trying to sneak the power to speak, sneeze and cough really loudly and annoyingly the power to teleport half of your body the power to age extremely fast the power to have the patience to write this the power to read all of these d pwer 2 rite stupeedlee the power to thumbs down this (it also makes you look stupid) the power to only speek in sarcasm the power to see the past (not the future) emit eht lla sdrawkcab etirw ot rewop eht

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the power of superspeed but only backwards

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Being able to have diarrhea when every you want.

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The ability to breathe underwater but only when above water

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The power to have withdrawal symptoms.

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The power to stand still for five hours

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The power to freeze ice

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The power to heal yourself but only damage you inflict on yourself.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!