the power to be the idiot who is reading this website instead being a person because they lost their souls after there ex dumped them and they turned into horny trans-gender whores

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The power to teleport but you must have walked to that place within the last attosecond

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the power to eat with your butt

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the power of not being able to feel pain during constipation

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The ability to cut your stool in to tiny pieces smaller than a pea

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The power to ride a unicorn without a horn that can't fly.

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the power to make realy convincing whale noises

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The ability to walk five hundred miles but than you have to walk five hundred more.

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the power to think of useless super powere like this one

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The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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The ability to read children's books twice as fast as any given child.

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the power to turn on a random guys tv

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The power to pick your nose but you happen to be Lord Voldermot

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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The power to become erect at the sight of a man's butthole, oh wait thats just liam flanagan

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The power to make your boss s**t his pants during staff meetings

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The power to turn into a pebble

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The power to lick your balls.

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The power to troll.

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The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

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The power to die at will.

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the power to spit long distances at inconvenient times

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The power to walk through air.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!