The power to be extremely well-endowed while having sex, but only when masturbating

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The power to look extremely bored and emotionless when typing "lol" or "xD"

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Delayed Reaction Man

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The power drown in water

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the power to relive the least important moments in history

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the ability to say either "beans are magical!" or "beans are fruit!" in an angry tone, and have people believe you

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the power to complete math exercises

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the power to make thin air that is harmless

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The ability not to be able to make a bong out of a taco bell cup

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EntirelyTooManyNapkins Man

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The power to get hurt without a break.

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The superpower to know everything about the earth today after 2.5trillion years have passed

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The power to waste time coming up with pointless super powers

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the power of breath 10 times per second of you will die

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The power to summon Wolverine, but only so he can give you a colonoscopy.

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The power to teleport but only on the surface of the sun.

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The power to expel a single spaghetti from any limb randomly

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The power to expel a slight breeze after inhaling.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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the ability to stare at a cactus for a week without being bored

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The power to go back in time one second at a time, but the ability takes one second to recharge.

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The power to push "pull" doors

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The power to be invulnerable to any type of bullets except lead and copper.

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The power to turn your navel upside down

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!