The power to summon Wolverine, but only so he can give you a colonoscopy.

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the power to turn into a fish that is less then one mm small while only on land

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to turn yourslef into a suicide bomber just as he blows himself up

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to die when you are happy

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The power to push "pull" doors

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The power to get rid of all advertisements, but only when your eyes are closed.

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The power to wake up to surprise sex in the morning... in prision.

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The power to get this. Do you get it?

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the power to finish your plate of veggies when ever you like.

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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the power to beathe

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The power to be superman with no power's

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The power to no sweat in the cold.

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The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

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the power to hear everything in sign language and see everything in braille

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The ability to guess the reCAPTCHA words first try

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The power to transform yourself into a perfect copy of your mother.

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THE POWER TO POTENTIALLY HAVE A USELESS POWER ONLY WHILE READING USELESS WEBSITES ON MONDAY WHILE IT IS RAINING ON FIRE

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The power to look at the sum, but only when it's night

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The ability for your penis to tie itself into a knot.

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The power to throw-up purple cheese curds on command, but you are also allergic to purple cheese curds?

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The power to spell-check or at least reread what you're about to post.

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The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifes blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents vehicles trucks electricity meteors bombs rockets drug addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys radiation

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!