The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to expel a slight breeze after inhaling.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to drown on land.

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The power to push "pull" doors

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The power to have all sensory input interpreted as pain

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The power to get rid of all advertisements, but only when your eyes are closed.

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The power to blink 1.0000000000001 times faster than the average human.

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The power to wake up to surprise sex in the morning... in prision.

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The power to complete a 100m race in exactly 100 seconds.

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The power to get this. Do you get it?

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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the power to beathe

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The power to be superman with no power's

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The power to smell a fart upwind.

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The power to seduce any woman but only if you're gay

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The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

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The power to give yourself the most intense orgasm of all time at will, but it only lasts for a millisecond.

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The power to use a computer whenever you want, but only at libraries

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The power to become the best player in every Moral Kombat game there is. Test your Morals... TSHHH, test your morals TSHHH MORAL KOMBAT! Mortal: FEAR THE WRATH OF MORAL KAHN!

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The power to turn into random objects

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The power to realize when you are wasting your life typing useless shit on the internet

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the power to see through clothes but only old peoples clothes -jesse

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!