the power to be able to switch tabs on your computer two seconds after your parents walk in the room

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The power to issue commands to domesticated house cats. Not the power to make them obey your commands, just the power to issue the commands.

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The power to drain people's phone battery

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The power to disappear only when you're about to have sex.

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The power to go back in time, but only 1 second back and with a 10 second recharge.

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X-Ray vision that only works on fat chicks.

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the power to tell Austin Zachrich to go pee

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YOU CAN WISH BUT IT WILL NOT COME TRUE -.-

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The power of turning your nose upside down, but only when it's raining... or in the shower.

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The power to make something slightly sticky. Like after you each a juicy piece of fruit. You make everything feel like that.

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Where to start? Ah yes...THE POWER TO NOT FREAKING DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The power to fart through your mouth and burb through your butt

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to be only be able to walk for 0.0183874662 ever 11.204882884832 days

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The power to recharge batteries by licking them.

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The power to have superhuman strength. But I have to jack off to do so.

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The power to be able to write the worlds best book or movie script but if anyone reads it, it will combust into flames.

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The astounding ability to lay eggs instead of give birth.

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The power to read this text unless you can see it.

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The power to teleport, but in doing so you lose a limb.

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The power to grab a cup of purple drank, Then drink it

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The ability to see through blind peoples eyes

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The ability to unbleep swear words on your tv.

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The ability to breathe and swallow at the same time.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!