The power to travel time at 60 seconds a minute

thumb_up thumb_down +124

The power to set yourself on fire but be immune to flames

thumb_up thumb_down +124

The power to recite all digits of pi, but you can’t stop and you die when you’re done

thumb_up thumb_down +122

The power to propel urine at the top speed of the animal you most recently thought of.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

The power to laugh uncontrollably in funerals

thumb_up thumb_down +114

The power to become CHUCK NORRIS! (if you are a teen) Which by activation you realize he is just a mediocre actor... and worst... over 70 years of age...

thumb_up thumb_down +114

The power to shape-shift, but only into: Rebecca Black, Justin Bieber, or Hannah Montana.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

the power to sleep through a prison rape

thumb_up thumb_down +114

The power to shoot a any amount of milk out of your belly button every July 4th at 2 o'clock

thumb_up thumb_down +110

The power to glow while under the sun

thumb_up thumb_down +110

The power to say something only when you have a mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +108

The power to have a V8

thumb_up thumb_down +98

the power to remove the white seeds from a watermelon over the course of two months.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power to immediately become comatose every time you blink.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

the power to create bad superpowers

thumb_up thumb_down +84

The power to think of words that rhyme with orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

The power to control dodos

thumb_up thumb_down +80

The power to look at Chuck Norris. I dare you to try.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

The power to delete the "missing a finger" comment on shitbrix.com.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

the power to make the tip of a kangaroo's nose itch.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

The ability to ruin ipods by simply listening to a song

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The power to turn into shit, but not be able to change back.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

The power to fuck your mum whenever you want

thumb_up thumb_down +60

The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!