The ability to make any girl hook up with you, while your penis is numb

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Invisibility when people aren't looking.

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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The power to get hard at will.

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The power to read minds, but only that of someone who is watching Twilight.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to type useless powers that no one's ever gonna read.

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The power to have a unique fart smell

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the power to jerk off

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The power to move in slow motion whenever running away from danger. Moral: Hilarious! XD

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The power to give onesself a heart attack just by thinking about it.

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the power to make food disappear in your mouth only when your mouth is not closed.

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The power to eat soap.

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The power to light glue on fire.

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The power to poop but only in bushes.

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power to look pretty but only in your mom's eyes

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The power to drown on land.

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The power to hold your breath forever, but only in a hot-tub.

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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The power to attract bullets when a gun fires

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To be ALMOST able to run faster than a speeding bullet

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The power to make high definition photo a hammer (with a red comfortable heated handle with LED flashing lights) appear out of thin air. (Oh, and on a 8"x11" piece of paper of course).

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The power to spell-check or at least reread what you're about to post.

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The power to communicate with your own toenail clippings.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!