the power to teleport to the bottom of the ocean at will

thumb_up thumb_down +111

Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

The power to ressurect anyone alive by killing them first. Works only 10 percent of the time...

thumb_up thumb_down +107

the power to make a pillow filled with feathers into a pillow filled with fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +105

The power to bring life to nobody, except Winston Chrurchil.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

The power to have all the powers of all the superheroes, but only on February 30th.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

The power to believe I type actual morals. Moral: At horsehead network? Now please go look for prostitutes at a church or astronauts under the sea you fucklng ass and blahblah!

thumb_up thumb_down +99

the ability to manually control your breathing

thumb_up thumb_down +95

The power to be hungry without eating a Snickers bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The power to hate/love/care about me because of who I am. Moral: Relax dear friends (you other fools relax too) I was born this way, and I love every second of it, I am on fire and this workout gives me so damn much pheromones and testosterone that I am gonna invite a cute friend and have a damn threesome! Why, because its a mans world... never forget that kids...

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The power to like this power

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The ability to read Captch codes perfectly but not being able to type them correctly

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The power to not move but your always happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The power to laugh at Tyler Perry's House of Payne.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to make cheeseburgers only when your tummy is full.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

The power to change your eye color.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

They power to be able to make meth.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

The power to not get crushed, only if you're in contact with something.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

The power to shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

The ability to levitate birds

thumb_up thumb_down +63

the power to inhale and exhale air

thumb_up thumb_down +63

The power to make everyone else blink around you when you blink.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

The power to punch anyone as hard as you want but get hit with the same force in your genitals

thumb_up thumb_down +53

the power to take a poo everywhere but on the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!