the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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To get to know everything Jack Nicholson has said yet you blurb out his comments and random and by the time you face this YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: You think this entry was boring? It is great actually, what? You say it sucks? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to die, and you can only do it once.

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The ability to be bulletproof after you get shot.

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The power to see very far with the eyes closed.

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The power to turn the tv off from 0.00000000001 inches away, with your mind, but it takes half an hour to actually turn off. This superpower runs out whenever you come within a mile of a tv.

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The ability to fly but, if you use it, birds start flocking around you and shitting on you.

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The ability to become the most attractive person in the world, but only when you're all alone. Also, it doesn't show up on film.

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The ability to see through blind peoples eyes

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The power to find the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle

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the power to not have a power

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The power to just eat one lays potato chip

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The power to paint with all the colors of the wind!

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The power to touch MC Hammer.

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The power to jump 1 centimeter higher than you usually can

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The power to have a poo at your girlfriend's house and be only 22.2% sure that it will flush

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The power to get a boner, but only when you're hugging your dad.

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The power to look at yourself in third person

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The power to enter into a Coalition with the Conservative Party

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The power to grow one inch, but you need to shrink one inch to do so.

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The power to uncontrollably make your clothes dissapear and only in church.

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the power to make plants grow at a slightly excelled rate when lying on top of them .... you also smell like shit, all the time.

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The power to party like it is 1999 despite it being 2011

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Everything you touch turns into piles of steaming shit.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!