The power to be able to stop the world for two seconds only every 2 years.

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the power to read impossibly fast, but only when you're watching a movie with no subtitles

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The power to become invincible when you're dead

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Ability to shit nuclear waste

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The power to be able 2 pee every 2 hours

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the power to erase your memory ffrom the last five seconds... but only if you are having a seizure

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The power to be unkillable when you'r not in danger.

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the ability to grow and shrink... only inside buildings.

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The power to understand this: Alucard: Father! I will stand against you! Dracula: Then it is time to kill your weak human side and join me in REMAKING THIS WORLD! (battle ensues Dracula takes a hell of a beating) Dracula: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHH! Heh... sarcasm... What is a man... if he gains the world, but loses his soul... limps away... Mark 8:36 I believe... Alucard: Father! I did not wish for you to die! Dracula: Uh I lost a sole, and the world is mine, already... Alucard: Well then lets keep fighting. Moral: Richter: YOU STEAL MENS SOLES! Dracula: The same could be said about every shoe shopper... Me: You are not gonna get this one, but if Dracula STEAL MENS SOULS! Then why would he have a soul to begin with? Its confusing... and the power to understand this is meaningless... BUT ENOUGH TALK YOU MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! HAVE AT THY!

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power to make your saliva taste like a 90 yr old diabetic old man who has tapeworms' poop

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the power to hear any alvin and the chipmunks song you want, but only when you have a migraine

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captain obvious

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The ability to transform into a bucket full of water... With no idea how to turn back.

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the ability to see one-half of a second into the future, but only activates while sneezing.

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The ability to kick in a three point shot but only during a game.

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The power to make your hair turn green but only if you are holding green hair dye and when you use the power the green hair dye goes away

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The power to change your eye colour but you are the only one who can see the difference.

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the power to seduce hats

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the power to fly two inches above solid ground at the speed you walk

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the power to search pointless super powers when you could be doing something useful

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The ability to heat up an object by 1 degree for every week you hold it.

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The power to throw your crotch as a powerful one time grenade.

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The power to have amazing sexual prowess for 24 straight hours, but only on days that you have to work overtime. This is actually true.

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The power to have intense orgasms, but only if you choke yourself.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!