The power to teleport dead dogs 1 foot away from you once a month

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the ability to grow and shrink... only inside buildings.

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The power to understand this: Alucard: Father! I will stand against you! Dracula: Then it is time to kill your weak human side and join me in REMAKING THIS WORLD! (battle ensues Dracula takes a hell of a beating) Dracula: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHH! Heh... sarcasm... What is a man... if he gains the world, but loses his soul... limps away... Mark 8:36 I believe... Alucard: Father! I did not wish for you to die! Dracula: Uh I lost a sole, and the world is mine, already... Alucard: Well then lets keep fighting. Moral: Richter: YOU STEAL MENS SOLES! Dracula: The same could be said about every shoe shopper... Me: You are not gonna get this one, but if Dracula STEAL MENS SOULS! Then why would he have a soul to begin with? Its confusing... and the power to understand this is meaningless... BUT ENOUGH TALK YOU MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! HAVE AT THY!

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The ability to identify commonly known objects.

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power to make your saliva taste like a 90 yr old diabetic old man who has tapeworms' poop

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The power to activate all musical instruments at full volume just by going to sleep.

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The power to remember every moment of your suckish life

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the power to engage in prostitution, unless you are a prostitute.

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the power to pull a girl on www.hislag.com

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the power to waste the space in the typing boxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :D

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the ability to see one-half of a second into the future, but only activates while sneezing.

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The power to have any computer in the world but it has to be before the 1990.

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The ability to type without having to use the shift key.

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The power to grow or shrink your height by 6 inches at will, but everytime you do, you grow an extra toe.

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The ability to not read the terms and conditions but still agree to them.

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The power to remember your past failures and all the pain you ever received every time you close your eyes. And you have no appossable thumbs.

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The power to make your hair turn green but only if you are holding green hair dye and when you use the power the green hair dye goes away

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The ability to heat up an object by 1 degree for every week you hold it.

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The power to turn invisible but only when no ones around

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The power to walk forward and walk backwards at the same time in a lying down position while your asleep having a wet dream about goat puppies.

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the power to commit suicide when you are about to die

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The power to read any language, but it will always be backwards.

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The power to not move or do anything.... at all

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The power of laser pointer vision.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!