The power to chew on chicken heads without breaking your teeth.

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The ability to enter a coma but not be able to control for how long

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The power to teleport anywhere you don't want to go.

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the power to fart mace

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The power to write stupid and unintelligent messages that have no purpose or aim whatsoever.

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The power to talk like Batman perfectly, but only at really serious moments.

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The power to summon unspendable money

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The power to blink your eyelids in Morse Code

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The ability to fly, but only when sleeping...

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The power to teleport, but you will be just as tired as if you had walked there and it would take the same amount of time to get there.

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The power to see extremely far, and to see trough everything except yourself. Congrats you are stuck with seeing your own ass wherever you go for the rest of your life. Yeh i am moral man whatevs...

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The power to get pulled over for going 1mph over the speed limit.

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The power of turning poo into Adam Sandler movies

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The power to digest food 1% faster than normal on Tuesdays and 1% slower on Thursdays

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the power to pull a girl on www.hislag.com

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I can talk to fish.... They don't have a lot to say

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The power of losing your power in the most crucial moment

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The power to control an army of termites to eat any wooden object, as long as the object is from IKEA

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Moral: THUMBS UPS SOLDIER!

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The Power to look mildly far away but only with something on your face to help you see

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The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

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The power to have YMCA or "In the navy" play explosively loudly from your nostrils and be immune to it yourself. Moral: WE KNOW YOU ARE H0MOSEXUAL ALREADY! TURN THAT SHIT OFF!

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mint berry crunch

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The power to win the lottery, but only the december 21 of 2012.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!