The power to grow fingernails just to cut them later

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The power to use your penis and testicles as a powerful one time grenade in case you get assaulted. (probably the most pointless power ever)

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The power to see correctly with wearing glasses

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The power to be bullet proof (only works on bullets are thrown at you and not fired from a gun)

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The power to have any power you want, but only if you are touching a nine pound diamond, standing in a pool of gold, and stabbing yourself in your pineal gland, the smallest muscle in your body.

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the ability to smile a tooth grin while pooping on your own chest

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The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

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The ability to suddenly realize you have Cancer.

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the power to make ur fingernails fall and the go into a coma when someone says hello.

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The ability to smell with your hands

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the power to kiss your own ass

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The power to be invisible to only yourself.

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The power to read but only when your using audio read.

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The ability to make someone's heart stop, but only after they have died on their own of natural causes

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The power to not lie wall you activate"I Agree To TheTerms Of Sevice"

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Power to see through walls, but it only works with glass.

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The power to travel 60 miles an hour while inside of a vehicle.

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The power to have every single power you can imagine but not able to use any of them

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the power to summon fire with a lighter

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the power to have sex with any women you want. with your whole family watching

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the ability to lick your own anus

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mime-o-moid. The power to pretend to be stuck in a box, walk a dog and climb a rope.

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The power of micro penis.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!