The power to continuously shoot extremely powerful lasers from your eyes unless they're closed or you wear special, unbelievably expensive glasses.

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The power to be powerless in situations u need them the most.

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The power to know that Han Solo dies

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the power to hope you get a job at the mall because they laid everybody off and sent the jobs off somewhere cheap

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the power to read and agree with the terms of service

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The power to control grass, not make it grow, but make it move in any direction you want.

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The power to move you right eye into the position of your left and vise versa, but only when you are sleeping.

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The ability to levitate, but only when you're defecating.

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The power to talk like Batman perfectly, but only at really serious moments.

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The power to run 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% slower.

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The power to shit dirt!

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The ability to orgasm every time you speak.

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The power to read minds only when people are thinking of broken pencils in a bowl full of acid.

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The power to hold your breath forever, but only in a hot-tub.

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the power to eat gold and turn it into koosh balls

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Look handsome when no one is looking at you and then when they do you change back to normal

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The power to hesitate when seeing naked girl.

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The pointless superpower to take farewell with my two fans... well one... me included... Anyway, my goal was to make an impact, however small, and when I suddenly start featuring pointless inventions, I can see I made an impact... even if it was not exactly motivating... thank you everybody. Moral: Has left the network

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The power to go forward in time so you get defeated faster

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To point out that the superpower below was the power to type partially invisible sentences. Moral: I did not realize that most of you would find that too hard to understand, but thumb me up if you did... And thumb me up if you did not... (watches comment disappear in the minus 10000 comments section) Damn flashes of the future... Heck! Just thumb it up if you like it because you liked it... and leave it be if you do not... or else I will use my most evil superpower in the world: Ignorance... aka I will ignore it.

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the power to laugh at something that isn't even funny

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The power to fart upon command.

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The power to talk to animals and plants, but only to have really boring conversations with them.

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The power to shit whole balogna sandwiches.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!