the power to hope you get a job at the mall because they laid everybody off and sent the jobs off somewhere cheap

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The power to control grass, not make it grow, but make it move in any direction you want.

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the power to read and agree with the terms of service

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The power to talk like Batman perfectly, but only at really serious moments.

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The power to run 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% slower.

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The power to shit dirt!

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The ability to orgasm every time you speak.

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The power to hold your breath forever, but only in a hot-tub.

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The power to change the tv channel only when you have the remote in your hands.

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The power to type good morals under your comments. Moral: Ever seen me post an actual moral (even less a GOOD one?) Pssh! There is no such thing as good, not that I am aware of at least >:)

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The power to hesitate when seeing naked girl.

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The ability to become shit forever.

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The pointless superpower to take farewell with my two fans... well one... me included... Anyway, my goal was to make an impact, however small, and when I suddenly start featuring pointless inventions, I can see I made an impact... even if it was not exactly motivating... thank you everybody. Moral: Has left the network

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The power to go forward in time so you get defeated faster

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the power to laugh at something that isn't even funny

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The power to fart upon command.

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The power to shit whole balogna sandwiches.

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The ability to tell when someone last used the bathroom by licking their thumb.

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The power to turn invisible but only when no ones around

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The power to make other people hold their breath.

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The power to dance really well

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The power to sweat an ordorless, but flammable liquid.

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The power to shed hair

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The power to make everyday Christmas once a year

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!