The power to kick ass and chew bubblegum but be all out of kicks. "sits down chews bubblegum"

The power of turning on the lights without touching the switch but only when its daytime

The power to fly but only in an airplane.

The power to have the longest little finger

The power to excrete food colouring from your sweat glands.

The power to order stuff online with your dad's credit card

The power to only be drunk while driving.

The ability to piss lightning and be able to make people dance by wiggling your monobrow

alarm that goes off when hiding

The power to fly only when in a car.

The ability to read a book by its cover

the power to shrink down to the size of a quark but then you turn into a black hole and destroys the universe.

The power to go through open windows

the ability to cure anyone but only if you apply their injury to yourself

The power to slow the rate grass grows for 10 seconds every 13 years.

The ability to talk like Robert DeNiro on helium

The power to hear train whistles from 50 miles away.

The power to go super saiyan for 0.01 seconds

To see what you are currently doing from the same perspective of your regular vision, with the ability to understand that you're doing it. But not have the ability to stop yourself from doing what you were going to do as if you didn't have the power.

The power to transform into a 37 year old World of Warcraft playing virgin

Teh pewer too dissablee speeltjeck Mortal: KOMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

the power to watch reruns of NBC's "Joey" in your head

The ability to create a chicken egg, once and then never again.

the power to summon a bus, but it will only come at the same time as another bus

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!