the power to... SHUT THE F*CK UP

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the power to herd cats

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The power to pick something up and stay the same but smell bad.

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The power to teleport. But you can only teleport to the top of Mt. Everest and you cant teleport back.

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The power to zoom in with your eyes, but only when looking to the sun.

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The power to see in to the future of one second

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the power to be indestructable to ballistics, falls, poisons and other potentially lethal things however everyday mundane things will be hazardous to yourself

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To be flaming gay. Both kinds.

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The power to go your nose hair by 3 inches every 3 hours

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The power of telekinesis over any object one is physically touching.

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The power to know WTF is going on

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The ability to make all the world's coffee lukewarm.

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The power to talk to dust

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The power to slow the rate grass grows for 10 seconds every 13 years.

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Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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The power to achieve world peace but only at the expense of your own happiness and the lives of all your friends and family members and everyone will hate you for no reason after doing so.

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The power to have a strong bladder for 5 minutes following urination.

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The power to die whenever you want.

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the power to get struck by lightning at will.

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The ability to understand what a drunk Scottish man is saying, but only in the non-drinking bar.

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The power to taste anything you smell.

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The power to perpetually yawn.

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The power to always find lost objects... right after buying a replacement.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!