the power to turn star wars figurines into sticky notes, only on sunday afternoons

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the power to believe there are 50 shades of grey

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the power to kill every thing you see but you have to be high and drunk and naked at the same time

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Be able to hear all the alarmclocks in the world

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The ability to pick ur nose while killing a bacteria and kissing a mouse ass

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The power to appear in the center of the moon (in a hollow space) whenever you die.

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The power to fly but only when your in space.

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The power to pee out your butt and poop out of your weenie

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The power to sleep but only when its past midnight

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The power to see to the side of you without turning your head

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the power to do CALCULUS for homeless people you run into on the street.

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The power to eat just 1 Lays potato chip

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To be flaming gay. Both kinds.

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The power to move 1 vein slightly to the left, but only if you moved to an apartment on the 29th of February (in any leap year).

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The power to shapeshift into a worm.

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hey

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The power to change the channel of the television every 2 hours.

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The power to teleport through open doors

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The power to fly only 5mm above the ground.

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the ability to make real zero dollar bills

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The ability to summon Cthulhu automatically when you reach the age of 23.5.

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the power to make elton john gay

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the power of the Anti-petter gun, which fires bullshit over the moon.

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!