The ability to watch an episode of 60 minutes in 59 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down +114

The power to meme 20% harder

thumb_up thumb_down +114

The ability to be an anoying little twat like jack moore

thumb_up thumb_down +112

The power of shrinking your own anus to subatomic size.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

The power to be dyslexic at will

thumb_up thumb_down +110

To call me maybe

thumb_up thumb_down +100

the power to see when the lights are on

thumb_up thumb_down +98

"man hiding at the ladies room" "woman enters" SURPRIIIIIISEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeAERHG! Ok so now we know my dick fits up your ass... hi my name is... why you crying?

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The ability to teach someone how to blink.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

The power to only be physically attractive to blind people.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

The power to ejaculate lazer beams...

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Tits for a guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

The power to go forward in time so you get defeated faster

thumb_up thumb_down +72

the power to shit shards of glass

thumb_up thumb_down +72

The power to believe in yourself, when you can believe in me. Moral: BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +62

The power to exude spaghetti from your pockets, which is never stopped. The spaghetti keeps coming. Out of your pockets. Spaghetti everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

The power to talk to animals and have them partially understand you.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

the power to shoot poop very far out your butt

thumb_up thumb_down +60

The power to shit whole balogna sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

The Power To Grow Potatoes from your hair

thumb_up thumb_down +52

The power to make other people hold their breath.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The power to turn anyone into a magical butterfly that can't fly with its wing but the only thing it can do maniacal is make himself fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The power to make everyday Christmas once a year

thumb_up thumb_down +32

the power to make other people's left arm grow two inches longer than their right arm.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!