The power to talk to talking animals.

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The power to envision 1 possible death scenario for any person you look at.

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The power to silence explosions.

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The power to breathe underwater, only in sewers.

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The power to wipe your ass once, and only once.

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the power to read 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 books every second

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The ability to teleport, but only into solid stone.

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the power to sell jars of bodily fluids for $25 each but get arressted shortly after

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The ability to obtain a date with any girl you want, but only if you are gay.

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The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

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I can talk to fish.... They don't have a lot to say

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the power to not have power

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the power to kiss your own ass

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The power of turning on the lights without touching the switch but only when its daytime

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The power to WATCH ME WHIP AND WATCH ME NAE NAE

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The power to RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE, only for becoming a homoerotic bodybuilder addicted to steroids made from white bull testicles, and eating so many that you eventually become a golden werewolf, a blue hedgehog or something like that...

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How 'bout the power to move you? - Wonderboy

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The power to create brilliant memes, but you don't have access to the internet.

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The power to go your nose hair by 3 inches every 3 hours

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The power to have logs come out a tiny hole in your body. Oh wait... - SMC Digital

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The power to have out bursts of funny inapropite jokes when ever u want............only while at a funeral

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The power to remove seeds from seedless grapes but only on the 4th of may on a sunday

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The power to have broads in Atlanta.

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The power to go through open windows

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!