The power to stop time whenever you get stabbed in the liver

thumb_up thumb_down -1

ability to smack the crap out of austin calhounh and laugh at him

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The power to speak using their mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -5

To be be able to be and throw fire without being fireproof.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hetsy overpay otay peaksay igpay atinlay

thumb_up thumb_down -9

the power to shoot superman

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The power to shit in your eye

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The Power to bite your own ear.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The power to time travel 1 second at a time

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The power throw up hockey pucks every few minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

the power to fly in space

thumb_up thumb_down -33

The power to instantly determine when someone is a dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

The power to download anything you want to 99 percent complete.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Hat seduction. 'Nuff said.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

The power to make every stop sign I see say "Stop HAMMERTIME"

thumb_up thumb_down -47

the power to fall asleep while being awake

thumb_up thumb_down -59

The power to light little sticks on fire by rubbing them quickly on the box they came in.

thumb_up thumb_down +174

The Ability To Stop Existing Only When You Already Don't Exist

thumb_up thumb_down +132

The power to taste anything you smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +130

The power to sleep with your eyes open but you still can't see what's going on

thumb_up thumb_down +126

The power to drive better when you're drunk yet run into furniture once you get home.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

The ability to be jokingly racist and not get sued by an hypocritically racist black man and end up having to carry out a minor jail sentence or pay a fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +112

The power to find any object in an I-Spy book, but instantly forget the location of the previously found object.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

The power to have superpowers in your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!