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Pointless Super Powers
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The power to make fish appear in pants.
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+29
Clairvoyance, but only when your mothers having intimacy with your dad.
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+29
The man who isn't afraid of sharks. Not even a little.
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+25
To power to predict past events with deadly accuracy.
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+25
The power of x-ray vision including mild radiation and only seeing bones
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+21
You might not GET super power, but you can get some super bonus. Get free rides with Lyft, (only new passengers). Use Lyft official code "IAMLUCKY" to get $50 up to $200 in ride credits. Now thats like a little superpower, you get to teleport from one place to other for free with Lyft. Get some super bonus until you really ever get a super power ;-)
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+21
The ability to sleep for 15 straight hours and still feel exhausted...thank you mono.
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+17
The power of invisibility, but only when you're wearing a morph suit, and people can still see the morph suit.
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+15
The power of not having to fill out chapchas
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+11
The power to remember and talk about random Pokémon facts during a life and death situation.
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+9
the power to grow mustache combs from your fingernails, but lack the ability to grow facial hair
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+5
The power to explode by yelling ALLAH FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEE! (Bonus: you always appear on Al Jazeera when you blow yourself up)
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+5
The power to die but once
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+3
Endless falling....
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-1
The ability to talk to snakes but only if you have a lightning bolt scar on your forehead.
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-3
The power to touch MC Hammer.
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-5
Asexual reproduction.
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-13
The power to transform into a 37 year old World of Warcraft playing virgin
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-23
The power for everyone to believe you, but only if you are telling the truth.
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-25
The power of heat vision* *Only for cooking.
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-35
You have the power to stop bullets from hitting you for a minute but after the minute is up the bullet will still hit you
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-41
The power to eavesdrop on your best friend from anywhere in the world when he's sleeping.
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-43
The power to make a sound that attracts whales
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-53
The power of intermittent hand seizures, at the most unfortunate of times.
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+136
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Pointless Super Powers
A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!