The power to never be hungry for five minutes after you eat.

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The power to give yourself cancer

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SGNM! Super Grammar Nazi Man!

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The ability to never pick up on sarcasm.

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The power to not hear thunder.

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The power to die spontaneously, and have no one notice

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TyPiNg In LoWeR aNd CaPs To AnNoY oThErS

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The power to be instantly transported to Switzerland, naked, whenever you reach orgasm.

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The power to fall apart whenever touched. See Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls

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The power to eat gumbo with a fork.

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The power to travel forward in time at the speed of normal time.

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the ability to know what the F#CK gotsie is. WHAT THE FU-

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the power to insta-kill anyone as long as their dead

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The power to see every rainbow in double rainbow.

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The power to have 20/21 vision

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The power to make green lights turn red on approach.

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The power to throw away and break your wine/blood glass away before yelling HAVE AT THY! At the comment below (below this one duh, you see the other brown box? Yeah that one genius) Moral: Yeah yeah, you dont get it, but its awesome because its a MISERABLE PILE OF SECRETS!

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The power to transform into a sentient cup-holder

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the power to suddenly become extremely tired when you realise you have a task due

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The power to produce up to 20 gummy bears at once through the process of budding

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The power to listen to Meghan Straight talk

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the power to be incredibly charming and witty but only around old people and little children.

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The ability to be jealous of tom watts like jack moore

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the power to see through windows

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!