The power to shorten your lifespan by 10 seconds.

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The power to seduce any woman... that weighs over 300 pounds.

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The power to summon earthworms

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The power to make the tip of your penis invisible at will.

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The ability to clean

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the ability to fail lie detector tests.... consistently.

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The power to see through the clothes of only the morbidly obese.

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The power to have super-sonic hearing, but only in the presence of the mute.

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The power to change the color of your piss

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The power to instantly kill yourself

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to be able to lift any weight of feathers

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The power to have the biggest boner ever in the middle of a presentation.

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Your average Axel entering a Phone Booth and coming out as... MORAL MAN! Moral: Where the damn do you find a Phone booth nowadays?

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the power to travel through time... at the speed of normal time.

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the power to fly that only activates when you REALLY want to kill yourself by leaping.

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The power to be able to tie your shoe halfway, by using your mind.

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The power to be able to understand any language, after studying that language until you feel comfortable that you know it.

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The power to taste the 2% that's real juice

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the power to make your best friend's crush fall in love with you, but not your own crush.

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The power to turn your head 360 degrees

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The ability to pee as a gas, not a liquid

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The power to shapeshift, but only when below ground.

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The power to help bitches stay alive! Bitches love staying alive!

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The power to see in the dark outside but only at day time.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!