The power to be -100% faster...

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The power to guess correctly how many bags you'll need for groceries.

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the power to turn people to stone but only if you look in the mirror

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The power to look busy at work but only when the boss is not looking.

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the power to make your best friend's crush fall in love with you, but not your own crush.

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The ability to pick ur nose while killing a bacteria and kissing a mouse ass

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The ability to jizz uncontrollably in your pants randomly during the day

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The power to make Justin Beiber come out of the closet.

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The power to teleport up to 35 feet once a year

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the power to mimic what people are saying if they are dead and underwater

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the ability to solve paradoxes

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The ability to feel pain 1,000 times more acutely than an average human.

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The power to see the present.

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the ability to take a fart that other people can actually see.

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The power to tell time every other second. sometimes.

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The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

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The power to block bullets with only your pinky toe on your left foot.

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The power to raise one eyebrow and make one person looking at you raise their eyebrow, then one person looking at them raise their eyebrow, and so on.

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The power to think out loud without saying a word

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the power to be imune to fire but only when is -40ºC

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The power to think of a useless superpower, but start typing and forg........ GOD DAMMIT!

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The power to turn any traffic light and crosswalk sign from red to green but only when your eyes are closed.

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The power to understand the purpose of live, and every other world mystery, exactly .5 of a second before you die.

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The power to strap wheels of cheese to your own body without getting tired easily.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!