Clairvoyance, but only when your mothers having intimacy with your dad.

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the power to give anyone an incurable disease

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The power to move objects by touching them.

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the ability to fly through the sky using the skin from your ballsack to glide to the ground

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The pewer to mistype the power, this time in non reverse.

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The power to draw a perfect circle

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The power to think of hilarious intensely racist jokes, but only at Black Lives Matter protests.

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The power to chew on chicken heads without breaking your teeth.

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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The ability to dislike on any form of social media, but only if you are looking cross-eyed at your pinky finger while listening to a mashup of Justin Beiber and One Direction.

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the power to poop out cactuses when no toilets are in a hour drive length away

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The ability to go poop and pee.

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The ability to create very weak wifi with a 1000000 character password.

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The power to fly, but only downwards

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The power to instantly determine when someone is a dumbass.

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The ability to see into the past at variable times between 1 and 30 seconds but be incapable of seeing the present.

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The power to taste anything you look at, except for food. Nothing edible counts...

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The ability to find any lost pennies, as long as you're Jewish

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The power of getting aroused when someone rubs your kneecaps.

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The power to bleed when your grandmother kisses you.

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The Ability To Stop Existing Only When You Already Don't Exist

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The power to get hungry when looking at exotic animals.

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Retractable Teeth

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The ability to pause time. However, this pauses everything. Even you. You are screwed.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!