The power to time travel only a Planck second into the future.

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The power to be socially impenetrive.

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the power to evenly cook a hot pocket.

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The ability to make red lights turn green by simply staring and waiting

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The Power to look mildly far away but only with something on your face to help you see

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Power to listen to Hatsune Miku while reading these.

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the power to spontaneously shoot glitter out of your ass

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Reverse Pooping

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Any telePATHETIC power you may get.

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Q. How many police officers does it take to arrest a mexican [DARREN ROWLAND]? A. 4- 1 too arrest him & the 3 other to hold his oranges!

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The power to fly, but only on the moon

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The power to know when someone around you is about to sneeze but not the specific person

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MARIAN PRICE ISN'T DEAD BUT SOME SAY SHE'S DEAD INSIDE

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The power to be illiterate when you open a book.

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The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

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The power to take a pill without drinking anything.

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North Korea's Nuclear missile program.

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The power to sh!t using your mind.

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The power to get a huge penis with an erectile disfunction

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The ability to blow air out but only after inhaling air The ability to rapidly grow body hair whenever you sneeze The ability to post pointless super powers onto a website The ability to teleport to a dimension where you are about to be eaten during a zombie apocalypse and not be able to come back. The ability to go to prison and not be able to get out.

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The power to shit in your eye

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The power to get a boner, but only when you're hugging your dad.

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A book on how to solve a paradix

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The power to add a minus to your bank account balance.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!