The power to jizz in your pants when you eat a grape.

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The power to fill in ___ blank

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To have your speed, strength, reflexes and senses heightened to the level of whatever is appropriate in your situation.

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The power to control hummingbirds.

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The power to have all your friends leave you

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the power to save Chinese people... who needs um?

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the power to never laugh at funny things but laugh nonstop at all other times

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The power to shit a blue agressive monkey.

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The power to walk on your butt cheeks

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The power of your girlfriend's will

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the power to walk in lava and fire unless you are hot

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the power to stop time for everything... including yourself

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The power to absorb your hair into your body and the burp up a bottle of shampoo and you have to do this once a day or your eyes and ears and mouth and nose will liquify for a day.

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The power to see as Stevie Wonder

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The power to think with a 6 year time gap

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The power to be illiterate when you open a book.

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The power to- Hey, I'm really happy fo' you, but the Power Rangers are the greatest heroes of all time!

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The powr too not bee abal too tipe

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The ability to dislike on any form of social media, but only if you are looking cross-eyed at your pinky finger while listening to a mashup of Justin Beiber and One Direction.

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the power to die on a cross and come back to life 3 days later

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The power to poke

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The power to vote for donald trump #FeelTheBern

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Gay mens power to making straight women like them...

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A power that makes your shits 10 times larger

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!