The power to time travel 1 second at a time

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The power to start a zombie apocalypse

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The power to jump -50% higher

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The power to turn food into human waste.

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The power to create nothing out of nothing

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The power to summon unspendable money

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The power to run the fastest when everyone in the world is standing still

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The power to stick huge Cactus`s up you`re ass and spit them out as beautiful flowers.

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the power to destroy galaxies but only when drunk or high

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The power to push any muffin button, but u get no muffins

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The power to infinitely generate cardboard

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The power to shoot poop balls when you masterbate.

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The power to turn into paper

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The power to read the minds of hobos. ( now you know what hobos think about you )

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The ability to make everything on you invisible, exept yourself

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the power for men to squirt milk from their nipples

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The power to turn your self into a rock that is being thrown into a volcano.

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The power to eat anything, as long as it's food

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Have sex but not feel it

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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The ability to have every pointless superpower then, now, and in the future.

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The power to pee ants.

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The ability to know exactly where every Canadian penny within 5 feet of you is.

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The power to be a superhero when you rage that has the power of controlling yourself.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!