The Power to f*** her right in the p***y!!

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to grow nipples all over your body at will

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The power to know the answer to every question you're asked, but forgetting it instantly.

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what do you call someone who never says hello............................ a shy person

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The power to wake up one second earlier than everyone else.

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The power to make sense of Donald Trump

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The power to sneeze out of your mouth and cough out of your nose.

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power to fly when your underwater

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cry acid tears

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The power to be there were you dont wanet to be!

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The power to annoy people with saying the same meme to then(Examples: WHAT ARE THOOSE,21 etc.)...

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The power to give others the power to give others the same power at will.

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The power to fly, but only when you touch the ground.

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The power to recite 1,000 digits of pie, but only when you need to say the Fibonacci sequence

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The power to have any power when they are completely pointless to have.

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the ability to see through air

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the power to have good enough grammar to phrase the fu**ing power you want to share without sounding like a retarded deaf 6 year old

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The power to unscramble an egg, but only after you've eaten it.

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the power to yell a math problem at will

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The power to be oppressed by everything

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The power to divide by 0

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The power to read any captcha, but no longer be able to type.

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The power to autocorrect your mom.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!