The power to be Obama when he's not president anymore

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The power to die

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The power to teleport to the south pole.

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the power to jizz money

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The power to have your entire body totally frictionless. Except for your nipples. They have a drag coefficient of around 5 parachutes.

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The power to jump several thousand feet in the air, without the power to survive the impact of landing

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the power to stop sitting on the internet wacthing cat videos

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the ability to only crap while on a toilet

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The ability to pirate every song you want without getting caught. However, they can only be Justin Bieber songs

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The power to grow a mustache anywhere but on your face

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The abilty to give yourself 0 subscribers on youtube.

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The power to make Q-Tips rain from the sky every month

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The power to give yourself the most intense orgasm of all time at will, but it only lasts for a millisecond.

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The power to touch your toes

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The power to hear people's thoughts when you fap

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The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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Vanilla scented blood

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The power to obey gravity

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The ability to fly 1/2 mm above ground, and only on dry land... no water walking

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the power to sneeze whenever you want

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The power to wait for the moment... TO THE NEXT WAITING MOMENT! And then the wait for the moment... FOR THE NEXT WAITING MOMENT

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The ability to melt ice slower than it would usually melt

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The power to ignore useful information

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the power to stop masturbating every day

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!