The power to piss your pants whenever you want.

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The power to get you`re dick stuck to a huge, heavy metal bar no one can lift nor move, either you stay there till you die, or you grab a knife and...

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The ability to forcibly break every bone in your body so you can shrink down never to regrow your bones back.

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The power to fly really fast, but only in one direction (down).

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The power to regenerate limbs, but twenty years after you've lost it.

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The power to sleep with your eyes open.

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The Power to float on water, except when you're wet..

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The power to remove seeds from seedless grapes but only on the 4th of may on a sunday

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The power to automatically blink rapidly at the rate of 1,588 times per second everytime you open your mouth.

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75% levitation

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The ability to get up from the couch.

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The power to not see the troll dude in the Pointless Superpowers logo raping the words 'Pointless Superpowers'

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the power to orgasm with your mind

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the ability to solve paradoxes

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The power to not being able to go use the bathroom when you have to

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The power to be and do whatever you want except living forever, only when you are dead

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The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

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The ability to get anyone answer your messages when the answer starts: What the...

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The Power To Have Lazer Eyes Everytime You Sleep.

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The power to say WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN - but only at peoples funerals or when taking a piss (but you uncontrolably flail your arms).

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Ability to be Austin Calhoun when hes sick

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The power to see through womens clothes, but your gay.

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Power to remove fart smells by licking the air

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The power to know if someone in China eats Rice

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!