- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to teleport massive objects one inch above your head.

The power to fly at 0.00000000000000001mm off of the ground at a speed of 1 mile per hour whenever you desperately need the toilet.

The power to teleport to the south pole.

The power to use a ridiculous signature that kills any chance of receving green thumbs. Moral: What you talking bout foo?

The power to make money disappear.

The power to think of pointless powers.

The power to see women naked, but only when they're your friend's mom.

The power to breathe but only when your dead uncle breathes

The ability to draw a perfect circle.

the power to jump like a black guy.

The power to Lee when your near a toilet

the power to hold your breath 0.01 seconds longer than the average human

the power to get married

The ability to pirate every song you want without getting caught. However, they can only be Justin Bieber songs

The power to be alone

The power to teleport yourself into space without a spacesuit on

The power to grow a mustache anywhere but on your face

The ability to fall into 1cm cubed pieces when startled. No ability to pull yourself together, or move while in cubes. Parts must be reassembled correctly to re-connect.

The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

The power to have a godlike super human strength but it only activates during a REM sleep cycle.

The power to hear people's thoughts when you fap

The power to stretch infinitely, but you cant return to your normal state.

open up pickles glass

The power to grow the pinky nail of your right hand

Pointless Super Powers