- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

the power to make plants grow at a slightly excelled rate when lying on top of them .... you also smell like shit, all the time.

The power to shrink your private parts.

the power to turn everything you touch into gold......deja vu?

the power to stare at pit bulls in the eyes and imitate them

The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

the power to shoot fireballs.....only when your under water

The power to shoot webs, but only out of your ass

The power to find spare change in the sofa

The power to give yourself a migraine at will.

the power to walk on land.

The power of superman while never being able to leave Krypton.

the power to burn your school down from napalm farts.

The power to become Santa Clause, but only on the fourth of July.

The power to lick your balls.

The power to talk to plants but only when they have mean things to say.

The ability to walk on your hands because your feet have nails in them.

The power to turn into a lamp once.

the power to be immortal, but only temporally

The power to have perfect vision, but only in pitch black darkness

the power to create a meme

The power to move and run faster than anything slower than yourself.

the power to defecate while standing up...

The power to magically generate drugs in your pockets, but only while being arrested or in a police station.

Pointless Super Powers