the ability to spin gold into straw

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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Meltman, with the power to melt!

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The ability to know the current mood of your doppleganger.

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The power to be able to stop the world for two seconds only every 2 years.

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The ability to play black ops anytime you want

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The power to have the aim of Torres

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The power of the most useless power and have that power.

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The power to make people extremely happy as soon as you die.

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The power to actually ENJOY Dora the Explorer.

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The power to Punch holes in Mountains, Only Mountains and nothing else.

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The power to move 1 minute forward in time every 60 seconds.

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The power to turn your fingers into penises.

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The power to ejaculate napalm

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The power to pee while standing up

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The power to suck a golf ball through a garden hose

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The power to make a Spirit Bomb in one less episode than Goku.

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the power to convert oxygen and glucose to water and carbon dioxide every time you breathe.

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the ability to invent cheese and toast

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The power to moves in slow motion.

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The power to fly while masturbating.

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the power to eat out your but and poop out your mouth

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The ability to like this post

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!