- Pointless Super Powers

The power to perform the Kali Ma sacrificial ritual on yourself.

The power to give birth to giraffes

the power of being republican

The ability to run at the speed of light, but being born without limbs.

the power to transform into pedobear with diplomatic immunity...

The power to lick your own elbow

the ability to run for president only if you're sarah palin

The Power to Make yourself 5 different levels of scared...

The ability to dissolve your own organs. They don't grow back, either.

the power to be invisable in high school.

To be immune to every 37th bullet that hits you.

Why didn't little jimmy get anything for christmas ? He is dead.

The ability to goatse instantly

to wash cloths when they are washing

Mutant Paper-skeleton.

The power to disgorge large quantities of water, from your anus, all the time.

the power to be able to call 2 people at once.

The power of night vision, but only during the day.

The power to enlarge your penis, along with severe cardiovascular disease.

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The power to turn wine into water

having the power to make your nose hairs turn into hookworms that shoot acid

The power to rot food at will.

The ability to think the world is flat

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!