The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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The power to quote memes randomly

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The power to kill anyone by hitting them gently on the forehead by yelling "I HIT THIS VICTIM REALLY HARD! I AM A MURDERER HAW HAW HAW! At least 2 times before, then 3 times after the deed.

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The power of telling the name of ANY song/music ever made by just listening the first three seconds of it.

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The power to iron your clothes with your mind before putting it in the washing machine

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The power to fuck your mum whenever you want

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The power to have all sensory input interpreted as pain

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the power to give yourself sunburn

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The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

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The ability to kill anyone, only if he/she is your close friend.

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The power to make your self drunk using only your mind, but only while your driving your kids to school

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The power to permanently shorten your own penis

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The power to laught at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

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Power to instantly turn drunk

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the power to talk to animals but only when it means stealing your ice cream

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The power of women's rights.

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the power to enter a coma.

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The power to use very big words but only when your at a retarted people convention

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the ability to make a really long post ajsfffffhkshgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddfgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggjssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssa

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The power to summon your mom so you can prove she's not as fat as the chav in front of you is saying she is

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The ability to die, when you say: "death powers activate!" . You can only do it once though.

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The power to be stupid reading this.

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the power to ejaculate 69% of what you normally do

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to be able to see through doors... only when there open

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!