The power of exploding when you think.

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the power to never be late to work, but only when you're unemployed.

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The power to piss as if you were in zero gravity and leave your big piss ball floating in the bathroom.

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the ability to fall asleep in your bed and wake up In one of jigsaws rooms

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Perfect recall of every episode of Teletubies

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the passive ability to teleport to the center of the world every tenth of a second

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The power to fuck any person of the opposite sex, but you're incredibly gay.

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The power to predict last week's lottery numbers

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The power to have any girl as your girl friend but they turn ugly

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Absolute Defeatability- the power to be defeated by any and all things physical and nonphysiological.

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Power to turn off your computer randomly. You cannot controll that power.

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The power to cook pop tarts really fast

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the power to fly, but only when you are in a plane that is already flying. inflight flight

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The power of becoming an apple tree

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The power to read upside down...only when you're upside down.

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The power to smile uncontrollably.

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The power to drive a car, but only once you've passed your driver's license.

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The power to level up on a game which you can't level up on.

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The power of confusing the word "your" for "you're", or vice versa.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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To the comment below: You wont get a chance to miss me mortal... Moral: The color of envy... you wish you could be like me... everyone of you, yet some of you got the balls/pussies to prove it! For the people! For the freedom of speech! For courage and strength! For balls of steel! For the ladies... and most importantly... because I f*cking want to! NOW AND FOREVER! I AM MORAL MAN!

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The power to become powerless

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the power to be Justin bieber

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the power to run in slow motion

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!