The power to fuck any person of the opposite sex, but you're incredibly gay.

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The power to predict last week's lottery numbers

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Power to turn off your computer randomly. You cannot controll that power.

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Absolute Defeatability- the power to be defeated by any and all things physical and nonphysiological.

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The power of becoming an apple tree

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The power to read upside down...only when you're upside down.

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The power to cook pop tarts really fast

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the power to fly, but only when you are in a plane that is already flying. inflight flight

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The power to smile uncontrollably.

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The power to drive a car, but only once you've passed your driver's license.

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The power of confusing the word "your" for "you're", or vice versa.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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To the comment below: You wont get a chance to miss me mortal... Moral: The color of envy... you wish you could be like me... everyone of you, yet some of you got the balls/pussies to prove it! For the people! For the freedom of speech! For courage and strength! For balls of steel! For the ladies... and most importantly... because I f*cking want to! NOW AND FOREVER! I AM MORAL MAN!

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The power to become powerless

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the power to fail at life

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the power to run in slow motion

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the power to give your mom amazing orgasms by doing her analy

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The power to turn into any cat which is about to give birth.

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The ability to irreversibly turn into a turkey days before thanksgiving.

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The power to swallow thousand liters of sperm without any ill effects.

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The power to transform your foreskin into rusty iron.

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The power to run as fast as a snail.

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The power to, receive THE POWER! What is this power you may ask... it is the power of TRUE POWER!

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The power to see in only one random color everyday.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!