- Pointless Super Powers

to zap people but only yourself

The power to sneeze scissors

The power of eletric energy in the ancient history

The ability to make cardboard taste slightly less like cardboard.

The power of measuring grains of corn from a large distance.

The power to have a device to turn the tv off without touching it!!! :O

To have the power of hindsight, which will allow you to see what you should have done previously or what other people should have done

The power to complete a 100m race in exactly 100 seconds.

The power to do control the atmosphere, but only in space.

The power to stay dry in the rain, while indoors.

The power to hold your pee for 5 minutes longer than normal.

the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

The power to listen to Meghan Straight talk

The power to vote for the Presidential candidate of your choice, only to be overruled by the Florida Supreme Court.

The ability to jump

Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

The power to hover a milimeter off solid ground when performing a walking motion.

The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

Be invincible...but only when you're NOT in danger.

The power to smell a fart upwind.

The ability to fly as high and as far as you want for 5 minutes, but you will always forget the time limit, and fall to the ground.

the power to fail at life

the power to feel pain whenever you breathe

The power to create another human

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!