have the power of making chicken appear when your a vegan

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

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The power to complete a 100m race in exactly 100 seconds.

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The power to do unto others as you do unto yourself

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The power to hurt your enemies but feel their pain

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The ability to pee while standing up for men

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Justin Bieber

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the power to write on cellophane

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the power to pee for longer then a normal person

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The power to walk on water, but only if its temperature is below 0° C

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The ability to recall lyrics of particularly terrible music with perfect accuracy.

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The power to turn into a tree.

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The power of confusing the word "your" for "you're", or vice versa.

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The ability to find a use for High School Algebra.

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Feeling people's depression.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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Power to not get pissed off after seing so many of this: "Power to turn invisible when no one is looking."

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The power to attract lightning strikes to yourself.

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The power to be a GOD with your imagination

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the power to disinfect wigs.

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The ability to grow and shrink in size, but you still have the same strength and weight and can only do it once a month

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The power to read 1.2x faster than the average person.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!