The ability to lose 0.000000000001 percent more skin per year.

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The power to kill yourself.

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The ability to talk to anybody in the world, as long as they are within your eyesight.

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to make your bowel work backwards

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The power to become sick only to spread it to your enemy but you can't stop being sick until you have treatment.

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The power grow arm pit hair 5 times faster and 5 times longer than it was after shaving.

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The power to jizz mango chutney

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The power to every two months to shoot three cotton balls at no great velocity from your left hand.

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The power of becoming sick when you need it.

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Having taste buds in your anus.

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the power to predict the outcome of any event after it's already happened

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the power to die 10 minutes after reading this comment

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to zap people but only yourself

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The power to turn into a pineapple that can teleport into a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died because of a pine apple that was in a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died.

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The power of measuring grains of corn from a large distance.

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The power uncontrollably self destruct when you feel safe.

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The power to be better than Chuck Norris, but you have to be in a lucid sleep.

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The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

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THE POWER OF PEDOBEAR!!!!! but only when theres law enforcement around

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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have the power of making chicken appear when your a vegan

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The power to be able to see 1 second into the future

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The power to complete a 100m race in exactly 100 seconds.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!