The power to time travel 60 seconds a minute

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The ability to to die whenever you want. RIP

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the power to write on cellophane

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the power to pee for longer then a normal person

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Feeling people's depression.

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The power to sense the emotions of inanimate objects.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The ability to talk to deer, only while riding one.

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The power to lick your own elbow

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boo

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The ability to fly as high and as far as you want for 5 minutes, but you will always forget the time limit, and fall to the ground.

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the power to feel pain whenever you breathe

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The power to be a GOD with your imagination

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The power to fly, but only 1 millimeter above the ground, while moving at a speed slower than a snail.

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The to ejaculate anytime but only when your mom appears in front of you.

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The power to sing with your buttcheeks

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The ability to mess up a Rubix Cube with your mind

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A man with the power to make sandwiches.

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The power to feel double the pain when you get kicked in the balls.

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the power to itch your teeth

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The power to die instantly from not reading books, meaning if you don't read books you'll die.

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Being only half invisible.

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The power to like the fact that someone liked my status.

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The power to, receive THE POWER! What is this power you may ask... it is the power of TRUE POWER!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!