----the power to hold your breath until your die-----

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The power to fart slightly less deadly

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being able to change shape whist flying "It's a bird!, no it's a plane , It's a flying Sammich!?!

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The power to climb trees really fast, but they shrink when you do.

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Normal handsome man by day. Moral: Man by night.

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the power to ryme words with orange, purple, and silver but only after eating your own poo and while singing a beyonce song

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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The power to jizz mango chutney

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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to make your bowel work backwards

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You might not GET super power, but you can get some super bonus. Get free rides with Lyft, (only new passengers). Use Lyft official code "IAMLUCKY" to get $50 up to $200 in ride credits. Now thats like a little superpower, you get to teleport from one place to other for free with Lyft. Get some super bonus until you really ever get a super power ;-)

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the power to kill yourself

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The power to walk through doors, then open it.

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the power to randomly die at any moment

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The power to be Omnipotent and create a rock too heavy for yourself to lift.

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The ability to headbutt yourself in the face.

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The power to be better than Chuck Norris, but you have to be in a lucid sleep.

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The power to shoot rainbows out of your dick, the rainbows can pwn anyone if you smoked crack before using this power

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The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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THE POWER OF PEDOBEAR!!!!! but only when theres law enforcement around

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The power think five times slower.

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The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

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The power to resurrect the dead but only for 1 second.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!