Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to lick your own elbow

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boo

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the power to feel pain whenever you breathe

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The power to fly, but only 1 millimeter above the ground, while moving at a speed slower than a snail.

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The to ejaculate anytime but only when your mom appears in front of you.

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The power to sing with your buttcheeks

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The ability to mess up a Rubix Cube with your mind

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The power to die instantly from not reading books, meaning if you don't read books you'll die.

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the ability to see through any vitreous walls or objects

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the power to itch your teeth

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The power to like the fact that someone liked my status.

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Being only half invisible.

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The power to speak only one language

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The power to take a crap.

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The power to turn cheese into potatoes.

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The power to have any power on this site.

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The ability to become invisible when noone is looking at you.

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the power of shitting on your enemy at any tmie

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The ability to talk to parrots and have them talk back to you

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The power to be lucky when you least need it (for example, you always have perfect toast, but you're not lucky enough to not get hit by a car)

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the ability to talk to humans

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The super power of randomly confuse the feeling of being about to sneeze and being about to shit yourself

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The power in which whatever you touch into a meme or prank.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!