The power to have ABSOLUTELY anything you want!... ...As long as that absolutely anything you want happens to be a pile of premium fresh horsecrap... Moral: This made myself lol, so it probably has 16 red thumbs by now YAY!!!!!!!!

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The power to never finish your sentences because

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Tah Puwir tu wright currectili

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The ability to change Celsius to Farenheit.

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To turn instantly water proof while eating a burito

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The power of 50% levitation your legs would drag along the ground

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Have all the superpowers there is in one milisecond every 100 years (If your still alive)

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The power to live in lava, but only when your cold

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The ability to evolve into magickarp

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The ability to tell what a tire tastes like from 6 inches away.

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The power to cash cheques that are only ever made out to someone else.

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The epic power of laser pointer vision.

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The power to go in jail every time you are alone.

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The power to have amazing sexual prowess for 24 straight hours, but only on days that you have to work overtime. This is actually true.

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The power to destroy any electronic device seconds after touching itoesajfaokpnhgåpesajfjåaeafjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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The power to turn a boomerang into a doggy toy

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the power to ryme words with orange, purple, and silver but only after eating your own poo and while singing a beyonce song

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the power to get a random fruit every 10 days...

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to be able to fly but only 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000001 millimetres of the ground and not even feel or look like your floating

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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The power to read this.

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the power to look like a boy and sing like a girl (bieber joke)

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the power to predict the outcome of any event after it's already happened

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You might not GET super power, but you can get some super bonus. Get free rides with Lyft, (only new passengers). Use Lyft official code "IAMLUCKY" to get $50 up to $200 in ride credits. Now thats like a little superpower, you get to teleport from one place to other for free with Lyft. Get some super bonus until you really ever get a super power ;-)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!