The power to transform into a paralysed turtle with half its shell missing

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The power to read a book in 2 seconds but forget everything but the title.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to hold your pee for 5 minutes longer than normal.

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the power to melt your bones

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The power to have a great singing voice, but only in the shower,

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The ability to seduce any woman.....over 200lbs......that was born with a penis.

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The ability to see into the present.

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The power of having all of Batman`s Superpowers.

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sdrawkcab gnipyt ta dab eb tub sdrawkcab daer ot rewop eht

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The ability to stop farting so that you blow up like a balloon that eventually bursts.

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The power to teleport to anywhere in the known universe, but not be able to teleport back

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The power to lose 7-1 to Germany

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The power to sense the emotions of inanimate objects.

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The power to die and come back to life in the middle of a crossfire between two tanks.

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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To be able to catch a speeding bullet with your head.

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The ability to tolerate listening to Nick Cannon's albums.

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The power to transform gold into nothing.

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The power to stand in line at the DMV with a smile on your face.

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The power to become a frog when a snake sees you

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The power to remember when pepperidge farm remembered

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The ability to become invisible when noone is looking at you.

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the ability to talk to humans

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!